Sometimes I'd Like to Hurt My Inner Self
by NerdsRule
Summary: Have you ever just wanted to slap that little voice inside your head that says 'Do the right thing? Well some Z people are just fed up with it. A series of One-shots describing why the Zs are gonna get themselves. Read and Review Please no flames.
1. To Cut or To Not Cut

Sometimes, I'd Like to Hurt my Inner Self

Chapter 1: To Cut or To Not Cut (Videl's inner self)

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ of I did the following scene would be shown:

"JUST STAY OUT OF MY HAIR, YOU BIG JERK!" Videl screamed. Cut her hair. What was Gohan thinking? She was **not** gonna throw seventeen years worth of hair and hair care products down the drain.

"That idiot." Videl mumbled as she took of in her jet copter. "Why would I cut my hair? So what if it gets in my eyes. It already does that and I'm not completely messed up. What kind of dummy would _pull my hair._"

"You know he's not an idiot, Videl." Said a mysterious voice.

"Who are you?! Come out now!" Videl demanded.

"Hey, it's just your inner Erasa." (Inner Erasa is IE) IE said

"Alright, what's my inner Erasa for anyway?" Videl asked.

"I'm the part of you that likes shopping, cheesy romantic comedies, makeup, and boys." IE explains.

"And..."

"And you like Gohan."

"No I don't Erasa." Videl denies

"Your right. You **_love _**Gohan." IE says.

"Nope. Where do you get this from Erasa?" Videl said, lightly blushing.

"I'm your **_inner_** Erasa. I know what's going on inside of you. By the way, your tonsils are begining to swell."

"Oh, I'll tell my dad my tonsils are swelling."

"So Videl, are you gonna?" Erasa asked.

"Am I gonna..."

"Cut your hair?"

"Erasa, I'm not gonna cut my hair." Videl said rolling her eyes.

"Here let's make a Pros and Cons list. If there are more pros, you chop of your pigtails. If there are more cons, I'll persuade Sharpener to come to school in a chicken suit." Erasa said.

"Fine."

Pros:

You'll look pretty.

It won't get in you way when your fighting.

No villians can pull on it.

Gohan might like your more.

Everyone needs to change up thier look evetually.

You're stressed out and cutting your hair relives stress.

You won't have to buy a bottle of shampoo for every wash.

It's easier to comb through.

You'll look more like a tomboy.

It might tick your dad off, which you want to happen.

Cons:

You'll look a little different.

Sharpener won't show up in a chicken suit.

You can't hit people with you pigtails (Which is a pro for everyone else.)

You'll get a few weird looks.

"Yay! Pros wins!" IE cheered. They had touched down at the Satan Masion. It took a long time to make that list.

"Hey, I lied." Videl said as she sat on her bed.

'Hmmm'

IE thought _'Desperate times call for desperate measures.'_

"Yeah," IE said "I guess if you're gonna lie to him, you're not worthy of him. I heard Angela still has feelings for him."

"Good try. Reverse pshycology almost always works. It's just... if I cut it, Gohan may eventually put 2+2 together. Sure right now he might get 4,923 but he'll eventually get 4. I don't want him to know that I love him. How would the world react to Videl Satan being in love?" Videl admits.

Then IE pulls out a recorder. She presses play and it recites 'Good try. Reverse pshycology almost always works. It's just... if I cut it, Gohan may eventually put 2+2 together. Sure right now he might get 4,923 but he'll eventually get 4. I don't want him to know that I love him. How would the world react to Videl Satan being in love?'

"Cut your hair or I show the Media." Erasa said seriously

"Am I being blackmailed by my inner self?" Videl asked.

"No. Just the part that likes shopping, cheesy romantic comedies, makeup, and boys, specifically Son Gohan." Erasa said.

"Sigh. Hand me the scissors." Videl sighes.

* * *

Twenty minutes later

"Hey it's not that bad." Videl said. Then she slipped into bed. A minute later Hercule comes in and screams "Ah, my baby! Her hair! It's gone!"

'What's wrong, daddy?" Videl said worrily knowing exactly what's wrong.

"Your precious hair, is not connected, to your precious head." Hercule said observing the pigtails on the floor.

"I know, Papa."

"You cut your hair?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Why."

"For a boy."

Hercule then fainted and Videl went backed to be and smiled "I still wanna hurt you inner Erasa."

* * *

THE END


	2. How to Ask A Girl To Prom

Sometimes I'd Like to Hurt My Inner Self

Chapter 2: How to Ask a Girl To Prom (Gohan's Inner Self)

Monday, April 19

Dear Journal,

Prom. That 'magical' night was driving me to near insanity. He really want ask Videl but I never get the time to and the one time I was about to ask her, I freaked out under pressure.

Prom is one month away and if I don't ask soon, some other guy is gonna sweep her off her feet. I should ask someone like Krillen, or Yamcha, or... what am saying? I might as well ask a saxophone reed for help. To the internet!

Son Gohan

* * *

Tuesday, April 20

Dear Journal,

Videl _does_ want to go to Prom with me. I heard her and Erasa talking. No, I was not stalking, I was simply at Videl's window, on the third floor, with my ear pressed up against the wall. Some may consider that stalking but, I don't.

By the way, the internet is not helpful sometimes.

Son Gohan

* * *

"That's what I'm here for, buddy." A mysterious voice says.

"Who are you?" Gohan asked.

"I'm your Inner Yamcha."

"What's my Inner Yamcha for?" Gohan asked.

"I'm the ladies' man in ya."

"Of course you are, Yamcha" Gohan sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yamcha asked offended.

"Well, it's just, you haven't had a steady girlfriend in ten years, dude. What kind of 'ladies' man' doesn't have girlfriend for that long?"

'Yeah, Yamcha. He'd much rather get advice from me." Another voice said. "It is I, Inner Krillen."

"Okay, when did I get an Inner Krillen?" Gohan asked.

"When you decided that your Inner Yamcha was stupid and unhelpful." Krillen said.

"Hey, I'm right here!" Yamcha shouted.

"Gohan," Chi-Chi asked. "What's going on in there?"

"I'm not completely sure, Mom." Gohan said.

"Anyways the best way to ask a girl to Prom is-" Krillen starts.

"No, the way you ask is-" Yamcha began.

"Wait," Yet another voice objects. "I'm your inner Goten and I say no matter how pretty she is, girls have cooties. Ewww."

Then a fight broke out and Gohan snuck away and flew to the Satan Mansion.

* * *

Videl actually found herself playing with a flower and saying 'He'll ask me, He'll ask me not' then she heard a tap on her window. She looked to see Gohan standing on her balcony.

"Gohan, why are you here so late at night?" Videl asked.

"Videl Satan," He said "will you go to P-Prom with me?" Then he shoved a dozen roses in front his face.

"Yes. I'd love to go to Prom with you." She answered.

"Really. Yes! Oh, these are for you." He said handing her the flowers.

"Man, I should use the flower more often." Videl said to herself.

"What flower?" Gohan asked.

"Flower. What are you talking about?"

"You just said-"

"I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, Gohan."

"Goodnight, Videl." Then Gohan flew back home.

* * *

The disembodied voices were still arguing.

"Hey, I asked Videl to Prom and she said yes but if you don't get out of my house this second I'll hurt you." Gohan annouced.

"Oh my god. He-" Goten started.

"Kaaaaaaameeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaa aaaaaameeeeeeeeeeee" Gohan began.

"Bye." Krillen said as all off them flew out the window.

"I'll hurt my Inner Selves later." Gohan mumbles.

* * *

A/N: I realize they were disembodied then they flew out the window. It's the magic of FanFiction!


	3. That Mercury Looks Delicious

Sometimes I'd Like to Hurt My Inner Self

Chapter 3: That Mercury Looks Yummy! (Goku's Inner Self)

Time - Andriod Training Period

* * *

"Dad I'm going out to train with Piccolo." Gohan yelled. "Don't mess with the mercury on my desk!"

"Okay, Gohan." Goku yelled. Chi-Chi was on her monthly day off so she was required to do no work of any form or sort.

Although it was a terrible day for the Saiyans. They couldn't cook. Goku had tried once and blew up their kitchen in the process. Who knew a person could blow up a kitchen making cereal?

Though the day after was good for the Saiyans, it was very suckish for Chi-Chi the Saiyans wouldn't clean, need I say more?

Anyways, Goku was getting hungry right after his son left,(No suprise there) so he went to Gohan's room.

There, Goku saw a container on Gohan's desk labled _Mercury Warning: Do not ingest._

As you may or may not know, Goku cannot say his ABC's hence he cannot read. Who wants to hear Goku's ABC'S?

Studio Audience: Yeah.

Awesome! Here goes.

Goku: Um, ABCABCABCABCABCABCABCABC and Z.

Back to the FANFICTION.

* * *

"Mmm, that stuff looks yummy!" Goku said and just before he opened it a mysterious voice hollered "Stop!"

"Who are you?" Goku asked.

"I am, THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!" (Didn't see that coming did ya.)

"Who?" Goku asked scratching his head.

"I am (A/N: Imagine the following while The Great Saiyaman (TGS) does his very ridiqulous poses.) protector of justice, guardian of the good, defeater of the evil. I am, THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!" TGS shouts.

"Who?" Goku asked scratching his head.

"Gohan from the future." TGS sighes.

"Oh, why do you do ridiqulous poses in the future?" Goku asks. "Are they cool in the future?"

"Gohan, what are you doing? We have to go to class." Another voice said. (0.2 cents to whoever guesses who that was.)

"Oh, hey, Videl." TGS says.

"Who's Videl?" Goku asked.

"I'm his girlfriend in the future. By the way, those poses are even uncooler in the future." Videl said grabbing onto Gohan's arm.

"Hey!" Gohan whined.

"Anyways, it's best if you don't drink that mercury." Videl said.

"Why not." Goku whined.

"Dad, it's poisonous." Gohan told his father.

"Really? It is? But, it looks so delicious." Goku frowns.

"Well, aren't you the guy who thought _marrige was delicious_?" Videl asked.

"I didn't say marrige was _delicious_. I just said marrige was a _food_." Goku said. The last sentence quiter than the first.

"Well, not all foods are delicious." Gohan agreed.

"You really don't think I don't know that, Son Gohan?" Videl said rolling her eyes.

"So remind me, I can't drink the mercury because..." Goku said.

"It's poisonus, Goku! Gohan, let's go." Videl sighed. She was getting a headache.

"But-" Gohan tried to say.

"Now's the perfect time to try out the Frying Pan of Super Doom you're mom gave me." Videl said.

"She didn't!" Gohan exclaimed with his eyes popped out cartoon-style.

Videl pulled out the Frying Pan of Super Doom and waved it in the air.

"Dad, I gotta go, bye. Oh, and don't tell the Gohan or Mom about this. Mom's grandchildren crazy by the way!" Gohan said taking his leave.

"Bye future Gohan!" Goku shouted.

* * *

Seventy minutes later at the Emergency Room...

* * *

"Goku, Gohan told you not to drink the mercury. Did he not?" Chi-Chi complained.

"But that mercury looks delicious." Goku begged.

"We told you not to drink it Goku!" Videl shouted from Kami knows where.

"Who's that?" Gohan asked.,

"That's your future g-" Goku began.

CLAAAAAAAANNNNNNGGG!

* * *

The End!


	4. But It! Achoo! Steal It!

Sometimes I'd Like To Hurt My Inner Self

Chapter 4: Buy It! Achoo! Steal It!(Tien's Inner Self)

A/N: I've never done a TL story but I got a request from Tapions-Flute, one of my favorite authors, so I tried it.

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or this scene would have been shown:

"JUST SAY OUT OF MY HAIR YOU BIG JE-"

Wrong chapter. Prom. Mercury. Here we are, anyways...

* * *

"Choutzu," Tien whispered,"I need you to watch Launch while I get her medication from Bulma." Yes, Bulma Briefs came up with the cure for split personality. Why work on the cure for Cancer when you could work on Split personality?

* * *

At CC...

* * *

"Hello Mr. Tien." Goten greeted Tien.

"Hey, Goten. What are you doing here?"

"I'm playing hide-&-go-seek with Trunks but I can't find him no where. I can't sence his ki! Hey will you play with us Mr. Tien?" Goten said with those puppy-dog-eyes that would make even the most ruthless Saiyan melt.

"I'd love to but I have to take this medication to Launch or she might sneeze and go crazy." Tien said.

"Oh, go ahead and play, Tien. I'll be fine sweetie." A mysterious voice said.

"Launch?" Tien asked.

"Yes. Go ahead and play. It's O- Achoo! Tienshinhan, get back here this minute or I'll whack you with my Super Duper Whopper Frying Pan of Super Doom and Super Duper Terror!"

"Mr. Tien, you should go. The regular Frying Pan of Doom is bad,"Goten began," so the Super Duper Whopper Frying Pan of Super Doom and Super Duper Terror! must be really bad!"

"Yeah, I should go. By the way, Trunks is at your house for some reason." Tien said.

"Bye Mr. Tien!"

* * *

As Tien was walking down the street, he saw a little girl with a wagon. She stopped in front of Tien and said "Would you like to buy a box a girl scout cookies?"

"Sure. How much is a box?" Tien asked.

"Four dollars, sir."

"Okay, little miss, I'll take two boxes of Thin Mints, one box of peanut butter patties, one carmel delight box, and one box of peanut butter sandwiches." Tien says.

"That'll be twenty dollars, sir."

"Hey, Tien, it's me Launch. Just steal the cookies and I- a-a-achoo! Tien don't listen to the blonde me buy them and come home Tien."

"I am." Tien answers.

"Aaaaaaachoooo! Don't listen to the _blue hair _me. Just steal 'em. It'll be like takin' candy from a baby." Launch grimaces. "Achoo. Buy it! Achoo! Steal it!"

"Okay," Tien begins, "here's your money."

"Bye mister!" The girl yells.

"I love Launch but, she's a headache and a half." Tien mubles to himself.

* * *

The End

Yes, I take requests.


End file.
